Years ago, I noticed something. My kids got little surprises all the time.
A sticker because they tried. A treat because it’s Friday. A tiny toy because someone walked through the Target checkout line and made a questionable financial decision. Me. I’m someone.
But somewhere along the way, I (like a lot of moms) quietly made a rule for myself: “I’ll get something for me… next time.”
Then next time became when we had more room in the budget.
Next time… after the house is cleaner.
Next time… after the kids have their back to school supplies.
Next time… after I’ve earned it.
The problem with “next time” is that it has a funny way of never showing up. There was always a reason why no one else’s needs could wait, but mine could. It didn’t have to be for things either. It could be for a literal shower.
The kids needed a nightly bath. But did I need a daily shower? Nope, it could wait. I was too busy.
It was years before I started to shift that mindset and prioritize myself. I set boundaries with my partner and kids like, “I get to shower every day uninterrupted,” and, “I get to eat my dinner while my food is still hot.”
In a recent survey of 2,000 moms, more than half (58% to be exact) said they spend much of their lives in “survival mode,” juggling the invisible jobs that keep their families running.
“When over half of moms say their families wouldn’t be able to function for even a day without them, it really shows how much invisible work is going on in the home,” said Priya Rajendran, co-founder of It’s A Family Thing. “A big part of what mom does is also remembering, reminding, and following up to make sure everything keeps moving, but this is never really talked about.”
Julia Sutherlin, SWNS. “From cleaner to chauffeur, moms juggle roles to keep homes afloat: survey.” New York Post. https://nypost.com/2026/04/30/lifestyle/from-cleaner-to-chauffeur-moms-juggle-roles-to-keep-homes-afloat-survey/
No wonder we forget we’re people, too.
And that’s exactly why I don’t think moms need to earn every little moment of delight. We deserve the hour to ourselves, the nap, the impulsive buy off the TikTok shop.
Not because buying things fixes burnout but because joy doesn’t always have to be practical. It doesn’t have to be earned or received only when no one else needs anything.
Sometimes it’s LEGO flowers that make you smile every time you walk by them.
Sometimes it’s colorful gel pens to use in your planner or journal.
Sometimes it’s a water bottle that makes you irrationally happy to drink more water.
Those things change your life, but they can remind you that you still get to have favorite things. For no reason at all.
You’re still a whole person.
Not just the one who remembers library day and signs permission slips.
Not because anyone needs more stuff.
But because every once in a while, it’s nice to get a little surprise simply because you’re a person worth celebrating.
What’s one little thing—free or not—that makes you feel a little more like yourself?
One thing that makes me feel like myself is halloween shopping!